OnDBriNkDraGoN's Xanga

Silhouette of the sun

Tue, 31 Mar 2009 20:45:38 GMT

A dream stands stifled.
does it?
stare into the sun
         the sun shall return the favor
gaze into the abyss
         the abyss shall lock eyes with you
dreams bud and bloom
ne'er do they bear a lasting fruit
some modicum of a dream must be longed for
life lay not in the actuality of dreams
but in pursuit of that realization
all mankind
         somber or satisfied
must dread the day when dreaming ends
Life is truly all that happens on that path.

The Last Will and Testament of the Dreams of Youth

Tue, 04 Nov 2008 08:10:02 GMT

I sit writing this somewhere around 4am with no light in the house but the digital glare of the computer screen. I find a need to explain myself. To those who care and those who don’t anymore. I am not some desperately tragic youth. Merely lost and confused without a dream to hang my hat on.

To my mother, the dream of acting has lost itself upon your doorstep and in your inflation of my talent. The stage while truly home to me shall never by my mistress nor my wife. It is merely where I feel alive, but that isn’t enough. I cheat on her with life too much.

To Bailey, Lauren and Lindsey, the dream of love unspoiled. Bailey you showed me how to love, Lauren you showed me that I could be selfish and foolish in love, and Lindsey you showed me how to lust for life and love.

Then the dreams became a bumbling mess… I wrought havoc on the campus of MSU from dreams of professional singing, to dreams of tinkering with electronics and software to see how it works, to even dreams of theatre yet again. I lost myself in every new girl’s eyes and they saw straight through it… My apologies to those, they know who they are. I grasped and ham-handed any dream that might swing towards me.

Now there is only Requiem. I search for a new dream and new goals to delve in while I lose myself to a game of digital fantasy and ignore phone calls from those who just want to know how I am doing. How can I answer them? I am fine yet I can not tell them how I am doing for I am doing nothing. I am stagnant, a primordial soup waiting to produce something great or small. And thus I do not answer the phone except for those who truly know my state and will not feel sorry for me. I do not need pity. I merely need a dream of adulthood, a dream of life beyond the beginning of life. I need to embrace the man and stop hoping for someone to tell me what to do.

It is said. It is written. Let it be known that I live yet am not alive. I shall continue to pick up pieces and rebuild the mosaic of my dreams. I hope in the process I have not shattered the beautiful colors and light of those who have touched my life.

Again dwell not on this as sad… merely a fermata. I am on hold until my composer/conductor wills me forward in the symphony of life. God-willing, the baton shall move soon.

Breath

Wed, 13 Jun 2007 18:50:52 GMT

I long to take someone's breath away

Not with looks but with heart

I want to sing with such beauty and passion that someone's jaw drops

To love so fervently and intimately to leave someone gasping for air

I hope to win someone over with a sheepish smile

I am bursting with passion

my cup overfloweth

I know the folly of my ways

I have loved too quick

Become to complacent in love

Fallen for beauty over heart

I am fallible like any man

My choices are made with more care now

But my heart is no less

I don it upon my sleeve

Will you grab it?

Or will you take your stab at it?

It will outlast your knife forsooth

Creation?

Tue, 10 Apr 2007 13:15:08 GMT

Both Aristophanes, in the Symposium of Plato, and the Peruvian Native Americans have a myth that mankind originally started out as a unisex being with four arms, four legs, and two heads, in some ways like a conjoined set of twins except not identical. The Peruvian Native Americans' myth goes that mankind sought out their creator, a great beetle to separate them. In Aristophanes' fanciful tale, these primal conjoined twins challenged the gods and began to scale Mt. Olympus. Zeus thought of destroying them all together, yet instead decided on a crueler punishment he divided the being in half. Now mankind wanders around seeking to be whole, in constant search of our other halves. While actually a comment on homosexuality, (Aristophanes' primal beings were man-man, woman-woman, and man-woman) I think Aristophanes and the early Peruvians hit on a point that not many other creation myths touch upon. The origin of love as something other than propagation of the species. Why is it that some people feel whole with another person? How do they just know when that person walks into the room? What makes them special that they know each others' tiny details? Someday, I want to know this. I am still a dreamer. I dream of true love. Every time I think it is gone or doesn't exist a happily married person will tell me something that makes me believe it is out there. They all say one thing. You just know. End of story. The most happily married couples always say that. I think the Peruvians and a satirical Aristophanes may have hit the nail on the head.

~ The Dragon still dreams and has never stopped reaching for the stars.

Wednesday, March 21, 2007

Wed, 21 Mar 2007 14:53:17 GMT

Haiku

Broken I may be,

Only God's will can fix me?

I may never know

Saturday, March 10, 2007

Sat, 10 Mar 2007 05:27:23 GMT

This site sponsored yet again by Fluffy

I don't know why but this photo always makes me happy. LOL

Randomness...

Wish upon starlight

Fri, 09 Mar 2007 03:15:22 GMT

I wish only to wake up to the silhouette of an unwritten sonnet in my bed

To see the sparkle of starlight between eyelashes

Kisses that taste like the Northern lights

Tresses of hair cascade and caress like a careless willow

Skin like swathes of satin

I wish to ask someone to dance beneath the stars

My heart swims and levitates between my head and gut

My ankles become that of Hermes

No music but the sound of the wind

Or the song I choose to sing for her

I wish to tell someone how incredible they truly are

I wish to stay awake a while and watch someone sleep

I wish to finish last as a hopeless romantic

Rather than to finish first as an ass

I wish…

Wednesday, December 20, 2006

Wed, 20 Dec 2006 18:46:27 GMT

If you are not enough without someone,

I don't believe you can be enough with someone.

The tragedy is I think I am not enough without someone.

~The dragon walks in shadows

Friday, December 08, 2006

Fri, 08 Dec 2006 15:24:06 GMT

This is no time to think about reality

Work, Escape, Escape

Work, Escape,

Escape

face the day with a smile

Delve myself into circuit boards and faceplates

The lament of the liquid crystal display

The song of the cell phone speaker

Lost in a world of dragons

Adrift amongst the stars

Reality fades, fantasy sharpens

soul wanders into the bodies of a hero, a lover, a rapscallion

The rapture of music invading my pores at every opportunity

Moonlight Sonata to awaken my soul and stir my heart

Blues and Folk to bring me home

Rock to release my aggression

Work to forget the pain.

Fantasy to change my reality.

Music to cleanse my very soul.

Work, Escape, Escape

~The man who wishes himself a dragon

Thursday, December 07, 2006

Thu, 07 Dec 2006 03:08:49 GMT

I am too passionate a man to be alone!

waste away,

a dim stubbled reflection of a man who called himself a lover.

yearn.

wanting someone to search heart, soul, mind and body for the parts that can be aroused.

not sexually but awakened.

wanting to feel like someone cares enough to look inside.

wanting to be trusted and loved.

not that he is not enough without someone.

only that why not a woman when there is so much of him to share.

I remember.

I remember scouring every inch of the temple of her body just to say I knew her well.

I remember talking til dawn's break just to say I knew her well.

I remember feeling one with a woman to the point of leaving humanity for a few precious moments.

I remember having a secret real love that was untouchable.

I remember nothing could take that or her away.

I remember making songs for a woman just to prove I knew her well.

I remember wanting desperately to find new ways to say I love you just so a woman would believe it more.

I remember all this yet it feels so long ago.

I am ancient compared to the boy who remembers these things.

When did I get so old? When did I get so cold?

I remember and

I am too passionate a man to be alone.

~That guy