"Life is indeed darkness save when there is urge, And all urge is blind save when there is knowledge, And all knowledge is vain save when there is work, And all work is empty save when there is love."~~Kahlil Gibran
Interests:Poetry, Music(i.e. singing, dancing and listening), and Theatre
Expertise:I am not an expert at anything. One who thinks he's an expert has much to learn.
Occupation:Student
If you gaze long into the abyss... decrepit poetry in the afterglow of LCD screens alarmist news programs from agenda-based networks reality based television to show the futility of reality addictions to escapism.... sex, drugs, and rock'n'roll, games, books, cable TV social networking websites to purposefully invade our own privacy cell phones for constant communication a butterfly flaps its wings a typhoon forms and it gets global media coverage by the butterfly round the clock vicious cycle? nay, vicious hurricane sexting teenagers, trenchcoat gun-toting schoolyard rejects grow up son!.... where did my innocent little boy go? ...The abyss will gaze back into you
A dream stands stifled. does it? stare into the sun the sun shall return the favor gaze into the abyss the abyss shall lock eyes with you dreams bud and bloom ne'er do they bear a lasting fruit some modicum of a dream must be longed for life lay not in the actuality of dreams but in pursuit of that realization all mankind somber or satisfied must dread the day when dreaming ends Life is truly all that happens on that path.
I sit writing this somewhere around 4am with no light in the
house but the digital glare of the computer screen.I find a need to explain myself.To those who care and those who don’t
anymore.I am not some desperately
tragic youth.Merely lost and confused
without a dream to hang my hat on.
To my mother, the dream of acting has lost itself upon your
doorstep and in your inflation of my talent.The stage while truly home to me shall never by my mistress nor my
wife.It is merely where I feel alive,
but that isn’t enough.I cheat on her
with life too much.
To Bailey, Lauren and Lindsey, the dream of love
unspoiled.Bailey you showed me how to
love, Lauren you showed me that I could be selfish and foolish in love, and
Lindsey you showed me how to lust for life and love.
Then the dreams became a bumbling mess… I wrought havoc on
the campus of MSU from dreams of professional singing, to dreams of tinkering
with electronics and software to see how it works, to even dreams of theatre yet
again.I lost myself in every new girl’s
eyes and they saw straight through it… My apologies to those, they know who
they are.I grasped and ham-handed any
dream that might swing towards me.
Now there is only Requiem.I search for a new dream and new goals to delve in while I lose myself
to a game of digital fantasy and ignore phone calls from those who just want to
know how I am doing.How can I answer
them?I am fine yet I can not tell them
how I am doing for I am doing nothing.I
am stagnant, a primordial soup waiting to produce something great or small.And thus I do not answer the phone except for
those who truly know my state and will not feel sorry for me.I do not need pity.I merely need a dream of adulthood, a dream
of life beyond the beginning of life.I
need to embrace the man and stop hoping for someone to tell me what to do.
It is said.It is
written.Let it be known that I live yet
am not alive.I shall continue to pick
up pieces and rebuild the mosaic of my dreams.I hope in the process I have not shattered the beautiful colors and
light of those who have touched my life.
Again dwell not on this as sad… merely a fermata.I am on hold until my composer/conductor
wills me forward in the symphony of life.God-willing, the baton shall move soon.
Both Aristophanes, in the Symposium of Plato, and the Peruvian Native Americans have a myth that mankind originally started out as a unisex being with four arms, four legs, and two heads, in some ways like a conjoined set of twins except not identical. The Peruvian Native Americans' myth goes that mankind sought out their creator, a great beetle to separate them. In Aristophanes' fanciful tale, these primal conjoined twins challenged the gods and began to scale Mt. Olympus. Zeus thought of destroying them all together, yet instead decided on a crueler punishment he divided the being in half. Now mankind wanders around seeking to be whole, in constant search of our other halves. While actually a comment on homosexuality, (Aristophanes' primal beings were man-man, woman-woman, and man-woman) I think Aristophanes and the early Peruvians hit on a point that not many other creation myths touch upon. The origin of love as something other than propagation of the species. Why is it that some people feel whole with another person? How do they just know when that person walks into the room? What makes them special that they know each others' tiny details? Someday, I want to know this. I am still a dreamer. I dream of true love. Every time I think it is gone or doesn't exist a happily married person will tell me something that makes me believe it is out there. They all say one thing. You just know. End of story. The most happily married couples always say that. I think the Peruvians and a satirical Aristophanes may have hit the nail on the head.
~ The Dragon still dreams and has never stopped reaching for the stars.
